Ahmadinejad & the Schoolgirl
Friday, February 6th, 2009A Fictional Tale
Angelina Jolie dishing S&M on celeb TV. 
Status quo, American faire. S&M you say? Sounds intriguing. Where can I get some?
Germany–world’s S&M capitol? Too cold.
Washington DC? CIA boys are top. Been there, done that.
Give me something new, something fresh. Got it–I’ll jet over to Iran for some
Iranian Self-Flagellation
state-sanctioned sadomasochism. Where men self-flagellate and dominate.
They’ll strap you into hijab, strip your rights, and smack you for being naughty. Like initiating petitions to beg the Islamic regime to let women go sans veil in public. In betweeen smackdowns, you’ll hit the opium pipe. Strike that–meth’s Iran’s drug du’jour.
Hit the hot spots–Tehran’s Foreign Ministry (IFM) digs. Mein Kampf sits in the IFM shop window to get you in the mood.
Submit to Iranian intelligence and Revolutionary Guard. Meet up with the authoritarian of my dreams? In schoolgirl motif, I’m before the king.
Former US Embassy Tehran, reads "Death to America"
Ahmadinejad–upon throne enveloped in “Death to America” wall hangings.
Of course, Mr. tough talk’s dominance in public means he’d like to be whipped in private. Basic psychology 101. And this Israel Girl is more than happy to assist.
He feigns unworthiness. (His “ta’arouf” –tete a tete niceties, negotiations prelude–Persian politesse.) Ahmandinejad’s enticed to bargaining table.
In platform Louboutin’s, I tower over 5 foot Ahmadinejad. Inferiority complex, right? Coquette turns matriarch. Lolitaesque garb–a ruse. Staring up at me, he capitulates.
“On your knees,” I command.
Excited, he nods.
“Now you know who’s boss. You’ll do what you’re told,” my whip cracks. 
“Your nuclear fetish’s over.”
“Who sent you?” He quivers.
“Don’t you know who I am?” I glare. “We are the angels of death sent by God to turn Sodom and Gomorrah into salt.”
S&M–the new diplomatic strategy. Clearly not Obama’s cup of tea, but just may be Hillary’s Molotov cocktail.
Source:
(1) The Ayatollah Begs to Differ: The Paradox of Modern Iran, by Hooman Majd, Doubleday, 2008